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But it was only for pretend.

The Stillwater Convention and Visitors Bureau sponsored a leadership luncheon and seminar, and my boss’s assistant put me on the list to go.  In my 25 short years, I’ve become a veteran of functions like this thanks to FFA & 4-H.  And, because I’m a bit of a freak of nature, I like motivational seminars. It helped that the whole thing cost $15 for a 3 course lunch, the seminar, and autographed hardback book.

And so I went to Meditations Motivational Seminar Banquet Facility & Wedding Chapel to see Kyle Eastham give a presentation aptly titled, “Good Enough For Government Work.” We ate salad, followed by ham served with a pineapple and chili powder chutney, mashed potatoes and assorted vegetables, with a piece of chocolate cake for desert. Kyle came next.

Kyle first told us how the phrase “good enough for government work” used to mean that a product or service was of very high quality.  Apparently, this term originated from the war effort during and after WWII; the men and women called to service were very proud of the work they did and thus standards were very high.  Having worked over a year for a government agency, I can tell you that this isn’t the case anymore.

First, Kyle said, to combat complacency and inefficiency you need to fire someone.  Don’t be afraid to set standards and fire the offending employees when those standards aren’t met, Kyle said.  I agree.  Then Kyle wanted a volunteer.  Who amongst this sea of 35+ year-old Stillwater business professionals would like to help?

Kyle shook my hand and said my name like 5 times to make sure he was pronouncing it correctly.  You are now the CEO of this seminar, he said, and all the people here are your employees.  My boss, Stan Clark, is sitting at the table directly to my right.  There are 15 people here from my company.  Right on, I said.  Then Kyle says the economy is pretty bad, and apparently so are my employees, so I have to fire 10% of them. That’s six people at this party.  Go pick six people to fire.  How are you going to do it, how will you decide?

I think Kyle expected me to be a bit more reluctant and shy.  One of the people I “fired” was the president of BancFirst Stillwater.  I DJ’d his daughter’s wedding.  President said, You can’t fire me! He stood up and gave me a hug.  I said okay, you’re not fired.  I fired the lady sitting next to him instead.

By the time this exercise was finished, everyone was laughing, and I don’t think Kyle got to make his point about how hard it is to fire someone.  But everyone in that room had fired someone before; it wasn’t a newsflash for anyone.

The rest of the presentation went by pretty quickly.  Kyle said he was giving us a presentation in 45 minutes that he usually gives in a day.  Given more time, I think I would have really enjoyed his points more.  But, the presentation suffered from the brevity; and I can’t recall very many details about the last six points.  However, I think Kyle’s tenets make a lot of sense for both leadership and business, so I’ll list the rest of them here:

• Hire Character, Train for Skill – Hire someone who has the characteristics you’re looking for, not someone who is a character;
• Insist on and Reward Excellence – Make it a big deal, and employees will treat it as such;
• Develop Emerging Leaders – Pay attention influential employees, as they greatly affect their peers;
• Instill Pride – Ensure accountability for good and bad performance;
• Find a Mentor, Be A Mentor;
• Stop Lying to Employees on Performance Appraisals – Managers and supervisors say that as many as 35% of their employees are performing at a “Below Average” rate, but only 1% are actually marked as such on their performance evaluations;*

Whether I end up in management or not, I think these are good points to keep in mind.  Even though we’ve all heard some iteration of this before, it never hurts to have a refresher or hear the material presented in a different way.  It’s not like we’re ever going to “get it all right” as bosses or leaders; and I’ve come to understand that’s why Stan always goes to these events too.  To me, Stan is the epitome of leadership and mentorship, and I’d be happy being half the leader he is.  For Stan, these 45-minute luncheons offer a chance for self-reflection and evaluation.  Plus, the chocolate cake is really, really good.

*Statistical statement made by Kyle that I have in no way vetted out. Remember that 90% of all statistics are 67% made up 55% of the time.