Quoting my very first frosh article, I started my tenure at Oklahoma State “ready to conquer the world.” Now, as I pick up my belongings and begin to shuffle toward the door, I am headed right back to Noble and the rut that is life at home. The gears of college have stopped for the time being, which seriously hinders how my life will turn. There will be very little life-altering experiences and opportunities to be had this summer; as the people that once opened the doors for those times will be gone. Most of you will return in the fall, meet back up with your buddies, swap a few dull stories and get on with the next year of your college era. I won’t be back here to participate in that cycle, though I’m sure at times I’ll wish I was back in Stillwater, Oklahoma, to bitch about Schmidly along with everyone else.
I wonder how much I’m succeeding at “conquering the world,” and I wonder how many of you set out to do the same thing, but let the cycles of college and life collide. I didn’t conquer anything; and I don’t think I succeeded in doing a whole lot, except grow up (even that could be debated on some points). I think I did what a number of freshmen do, although they say they never will – enter with a fresh, naïve and impressionable mind, and leave with cynicism and a more accurate view of the world. I still view myself as mostly optimistic, but now I think I’m beginning to “get it.” In the past year, I saw how things fit together; how one thing influences the next. I took a lot of classes that taught me about math and chemistry or about how biology applies to every subject imaginable, but the most valuable education I received was in every relationship I’ve built since I’ve been here. I can honestly say that I learned something from each and every meaningful relationship I’ve had, and that’s what I’m going to miss about this school. I’m sorry I can’t stay to keep building on those relationships everyday, but I am truly hoping that this isn’t the last time I see some of you.
I’ll always think about the nine short, long months that have passed and how they have changed me into the person I am now. In August I started out as a wild-child on a roll, but settled down for a few months in the middle. I began to realize that my time here was limited, so I managed to regain a lot of that party energy at the end of March. You could say I started burning my candle at both ends – I just wanted to see how much I could do without losing grip completely. My last weekend at OK State was spent just the way I wanted – drunk, happy, and surrounded by friends. I played Frisbee in the halls of Zinkness, tried vodka and Hawaiian punch, drank beer and sang along with friends and a guitar, went to a date party at the most beautiful spot in Payne County, had a rum & coke in the Student Union, survived two drinking games, saw Chris LeDoux at calf-fry, and spent as much time with my roommate as I possibly could.
I’ve had the time of my life here, but on August 1 I’ll drive Blue Northern to Nashville and start over. By that time, maybe I’ll be back in the mood to conquer something. Thanks for a great year.
All the Best, Always
This may be the last thing that I write for long
Can you hear me smiling when I sing this song
For you, and only you
As I leave will you be someone to say goodbye
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye
My foot is out the door, and you can’t stop me now
You wanted the best, it wasn’t me
Will you give it back, now I’ll take the lead
When there’s no more room to make it grow
I’ll see you again, you’ll pretend your naïve
Is this what you want, is this what you need
How you end up let me know
As I go, remember all the simple things you know
My mind is just a crutch and still I hope
That you will miss me when I’m gone
This is the last song
The hearts start breaking as the year is gone
The dream’s beginning and the time rolls on
It seems so surreal, now I sing it
Somehow I knew that it would be this way
Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade
Now I am gone, just try and stop me now
Will you need me now, you’ll find a way somehow
You want it too, I want it too